A private archive of public nonsense

Manifestos of a Void Elf

A collection of observations, complaints, theories, and occasional warnings from Caelumbra, who does not believe in time and does not like the bar scene.

Manifesto I: Concerning Dragon Guestbooks

Filed at an uncertain hour, because time remains dubious.

Upon arriving in the Dragon Isles, I was asked to complete a guestbook. This seemed unnecessary. If the dragons wished to know who I was, they could have asked. Instead, they presented a form.

Name: Wrathion's BFF
Time: I don't believe in time.
Purpose of visit: I don't read quests. You tell me.

I believe this was clear, efficient, and respectful of everyone's schedule, assuming schedules are real.

Manifesto II: On Healing

Filed before anyone could ask.

Healing encourages poor decision-making. A tank who expects healing becomes bold. A bold tank becomes reckless. A reckless tank becomes everyone else's problem.

Therefore, I will provide moral support, occasional condolences, and one ceremonial Renew when appropriate.

This policy is final unless plushies are involved.

Manifesto III: Regarding Perogies

Filed after lunch.

Upon inspecting cooking recipes, perogies appear to be absent. A concerning revelation...